Group IM
I had never seen such rage before. It's not unusual to be invited to join various SL groups, often by strangers.
When I was new in-world, I said "yes" to most of these requests. And sometimes a "spammer" would send a group message to everyone with, say, an offer to rent a property or the location of a "really profitable" casino.
The reaction was furious, in most cases, and often unprintable. This is because group messages go to everyone in the list, and they scroll up the screen, driving avatars insane.
Rule of thumb: only send a group IM if the topic is related directly to the group. For instance, I recently sent this message to the SL Mentors' Group: "Polish Speaking Mentor needed on Orientation Island #4." That is a legitimate message and got this civil reply: "Send me a TP. I'll help out." On the other hand, were I to write to the Mentors' list to say "My cat just had a birthday!" I'd be denounced, maybe even ejected from the group.
IM Before Dropping In or Offering Friendship
It's bad form to visit someone without saying hello by IM. Class Mentor Dianna Defiant published a column in my blog about this topic.
Newbies to SL often make a bunch of blanket friend offers to strangers. I know that is bad form in social networking, and though it's not always offensive to others, some avatars decline any friend-offers that appear at random.
I chat to someone or IM him or her before adding them to my friends list, and I ask their permission first.
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